Even death wont do this love apart :')

Assalamualaikum .

Its been a super tough-tough-tough day for me lately . I could never imagine even in my wildest dream about this . Tapi apa boleh buat , ajal dan maut ditangan Allah . Sampai sekarang , I'm still in a very terrible shock ! Saya sendiri tidak percaya that I've lost my most beloved father T.T Dah seminggu dah Daddy pergi menyahut seruan Ilahi . *AL-FATIHAH*

Semua ni diluar jangkaan semua orang . Semua terkejut and for sure , saya peling sedih tengok my Mummy . Dia still nangis time malam and when she's on the phone with her friends . Saya kesian Mummy . So macam semua orang bagitau saya , I have to be the toughest and must pretend that I'm okay . But only Allah knows how its killing me so bad inside . Tiap masa , saya rasa macam mau menangiss , meraungg and all . I dont even think that I could go back to old self macam dulu . Happy go lucky *PERASAN* , too friendly and suka ketawa . Sekarang , macam semua tu sudah tiada and if ada pun , its all fake *ISWEAR* Kadang-kadang saya rasa macam tiada harapan sudah mau hidup , dulu benda ni happens dekat my friends and all saya just mampu nasihat and hope they'll move on . Tapi bila it happens to me sekarang , now I knew how hard it be in this shoes . Tapi , sekarang ni , my beautiful Mummy , my brother and all my big family lah pemangkin semangat saya untuk terus hidup . Serious , its not easy and never will . Daddy left us so sudden and sampai sekarang saya belum percaya . Saya anggap jak daddy sekarang ni sedang outstation macam selalu and one day dia akan balik . But I dont know when is that ONE DAY :'( I really really miss him . 

Daddy ada sakit . He suffered a heart problem . Dia sudah angiogram on the early month of February and my Daddy was a strong man . He managed to go through the operation and the next day he was be able to be sent home already :) I'm so proud of him . Time kat rumah , Daddy banyak berehat . Kami pergi open house lagi , on Chinese New Year's eve , kami ada buat family gathering as we used to dekat rumah my aunty aka my Dad's sister di Kg Bakut Nongkolud Tuaran , Sabah *SODETAILLOL* Then malam tu Daddy happy sangat , he ate his favourite dishes and kami semua laughed at our stupid jokes and telling stories and about 12 O'clock kami balik sebab Daddy have to take his medicines . So kami pun balik . Then sampai rumah kami tengok TV lagi . Komen-komen tu movie and all . So the next moring kami pergi rumah my aunty yang semalam tu sebab ada open house . Semua heran kenapa kami buat open house one the 1st day of Chinese New Year sebab we usually buat on the 4th or 5th . Tapi time tu memang tida syak anything lagi . So the next day macam hari-hari biasa . Cuma bukan macam hari kami selalunya dekat KK , usually kami pegy SHOPPINGGG 24 JAM . Tapi this time , kami banyak spent masa dekat rumah . Sebab Daddy banyak tidur , dia kan penat :'/ So bila malam baru kami one family jalan pegy One Borneo kami tengok wayang one family T.T Sebab Daddy cakap dia tau kami boring di rumah the whole day . So , from Monday till Thursday we kept doing the same routines . Kami pegi breakfast pagi then balik rumah Daddy tidur sampai petang malam baru jalan . Ferry kami balik Labuan hari Jumaat jam 8 pagi . So kami kena jalan awal pegy Menumbok . Around 3 am tu kami jalan . Time Daddy tukar baju tu , rantai dia putus . Then sana saya macam tsentak sikit tapi saya buat biasa jak . So the whole 3 hours on road mummy and daddy ganti-ganti drviving . While my brother tidur and I'm with my MP3 . Saya pun pelik time tu , daddy marah-marah saja . Semuaa tidak kena di mata dia . Tp kami semua pun steady saja lah . Sampai kat rumah (Labuan) Mummy pegy bilik saya dia cakap daddy xmau pegy clinic sebab dia ada appointment dengan doctor . So 30 minutes macam tu , my adik bagitau yang my dad dah ready mau jalan . Then my mum suru kami stay rumah kasi bersih rumah . Bila dorang dah balik around 4 macam tu , saya sama akeem di depan pintu sambut dorang balik (VERY ODD) then daddy cakap "Girl boleh kerja sudah di Parkson , sebab doctor cakap daddy okay suda" Then saya cakap I dont want sebab I rather stay dekat rumah *HAKHAKS* LOL -//-

So bila saya naik pegy bilik online . Tiba-tiba mummy masuk bilik dia cakap Daddy mau mandi so bercerita lah kami . Tidak sampai 5 minutes , saya keluar bilik and pegy master room mau cari potong kuku . Then bila saya masuk tu bilik its so hot ! Saya heran why daddy tak on kipas or aircond . And , jantung saya serious tercabut and I'm lost with words bila I saw blood in the toilet . Then saya pegy my room and I told my mum . Then mummy teriak2 suruh my adik ambil tukul . And kasi pecah tu pintu . My dad was unconcious that time . And my mum nangis-nangis suruh call ambulance . Then bila dah call , SAYA TERANGKAN SATU PERSATU ALAMAT KAMI . 

"I NEED AN AMBULANCE NOW ! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY . C18 TAMAN PERUMAHAN RANCA-RANCA..."

Saya call tu dua kali mau bagitau alamat sebab my Mum can barely talk that time . So , operator tu balik-balik cakap ON THE WAY ! Macam lah rumah kami tu 10 jam baru sampai . And my mum nangis-nangis and said "Mana ambulance ? Daddy masi ada nadi lagi" OMG , bila teringat balik time tu rasa macam my heart kena siat-siat then kena tuang garam ok *HIPERBOLA* Tp seriously it kills me . Then ramai sudah staff daddy datang , my neighbors datang di luar TAPI AMBULANCE BELUM JUGA DATANG . F-est moment -.- Kami mau hantar pegi hosp but that stupid ambulance cakap on the way on the way . ON THE WAY HOTAK KAU ! And saya tak pernah call orang marah-marah teriak2 macam tu . Tapi siapa indaa gila time-time mcm tu kan ?  Then bila ambulance datang 50 MINUTES LEPAS KENA CALL . I repeat , 

LIMA PULUH MINUTES !

Then my mum marah dia cakap "Saya sudah check dia ,CPR and all , kamu inda payah check ! Kenapa kamu lambat ?! Ambil stretcher now !" Then orang tu pun thegeh-hegeh lagi . Then my mum pegy ikut ambulance while saya di rumah kemas rumah and all . And receiving phone calls from semua orang *BAJETFEMES* LOL-.- Then about 30 minutes later ,my Uncle suru kami tukar baju and ikut dia pegy hosp . Dalam kereta tu , my uncle cakap "Walau apa pun tjadi , terima saja k ? Ada hikmah semua ni" and time tu memang saya dah rasa lain and I started to cry so so bad . Bila sampai hospital , kami pegy wad emergency and I saw my mum crying . And my aunty who was on duty at that time hugged me and said "Sabar k girl?" Then my mum hugged me and cry so bad . My heart was pumping so fast and when I saw behind the curtain was my dad . I ran towards my dad and I saw he was so pale and then I knew . The only words that came from my mouth was "Daddy tiada sudah ?" Then my aunty hugged me and suruh saya banyak sabar . And by then , I knew that I've lost my father . Not for 10 years or 100 years but forever . Ya Allah , ujian ni terlalu berat for me and I dont know berapa lama saya boleh bertahan . OMG , kesian adik saya , baru form 2 and my mum pun . Serious , I never type and cry like this . 

"ALLAH SAYANG KEPADA HAMBANYA YANG TIDAK MENYALAHKAN TAKDIR.."

I'm speechless and entah lah . Its so hard for me . Luckily I have my awesome families and friends with me . I am the luckiest person on earth for having them in my life . I dont know what else to say and FYI , there's so much to tell ! Tapi I cant even stand myself with this sobbing and tears so maybe on one fine day I'll share it here . 

To all readers , sedekahkan Al-Fatihah to my beloved Daddy . He's in peace now . InshaAllah :)

To my daddy : I dont know if you'll be able to read this but I miss you and I love you no matter what . There's so much I haven't tell you or even do to you . There's so many more and semua tu tak kesampaian kan ? Its too early for you to leave us . Tapi semua ni takdir Allah and there's nothing I can do about it . Daddy , may your soul rest in peace and I promise saya akan selalu doakan daddy . And I'll take care of mummy as best as I could . Your dream , I'll make it come true . InshaAllah . Wait for us and inshaAllah one day we'll meet again . The four of us . I really-really miss you . With love , your daughter . 

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR ! :)

Assalamualaikum

Hai peeps , sorry for membangaskan blog *LEWLS*

Well , its been quite a harsh time for me lately . Well , my Daddy kena heart attack and its been a very tough day not only for me and my mum but also to whole my family members and relatives . And not to forget my Dad's friends . And to those yang tolong bg support and all , thanks a lot and biarlah Allah yang balas everything :) *CEHWAH*

Well , HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR I wish to all Chinese and to anyone laah sapa-sapa yng mau kena wish tu :) Hehehehe . Now we're having a open house dekat my Aunt's house and ramai laaa orang datanggg and I'm so exhausted *MACAMLAHBUATKERJA* XP Hehehehe . Ada laa juga tolong-tolong angkat tray kosong kasi ganti dengan yg ada lauk . Apeker . Hehehehe . Em , okay merepeks and taktau mau ckp apa lg . 

Hmm , bout me and HIM :) We're getting much-much okay . Even though kadang-kadang I got jealous with him . Ya laa , girls :P Hehehe , tp biarlah , mcm dia ckp , trust is important kan ? :) He's livingin a U's life so mmg if dia ada kelas tu , kdg2 jaa kmi texting . Tp if malam , lepas hbis Isyak , then he'll text me :) Dia ni sweet >< Tp ada masaaa dia mmg inda laa , mmg bikin sakit hati . Hahaha , biasa laah tu kan ? :P Lols . Em , tapi apapun , I'm just go on withthe flow . InshaAllah . Just pray for us lol . 

Love . Hugs . Kisses . 

Bell :)

Le Confession :)

Assalamualaikum :)

Well hello :) This girl up here would have something to say :) Hahaha . 

Apakan merepek petang-petang ni *BURPS* hehehe . Well , bila orang dah tanya what is my actual status ? Haha , so the lawak babe . And actually and definitely I'm still single and sebelum sampai masanya I'm onto something , so sampai time tu lah saya single :) Hahaha . *TAK PUAS HATI ? BERAMBUS*

Well , kalau mau cakap tentang hati dan perasaan *CEHWAH* my heart is taken :) Proudly taken . By someone , that I think it is better to be left unknown :) Jujurnya , I'm happy and so proud that I knew him . We never met , F2F but we just text and text and text . Calling ? Haha , never . So not me . Pernah laah tapi dulu-dulu . Tu pun just about 2-3 minutes if I'm not mistaken :) Hahaha . Saya happy kenal dia ni , sebab I think he understands me well enough even dia cakap he don't . And actually dia sangat pandai memujuk even dia cakap dia tak pandai mau pujuk orang . And , dia matang . Tu lah yang penting :) See , saya ni tak matang . Langsung , pandai lah juga jadi matang , suddenly tu XP Haha , tapi adalah sangat jarang okay . Hehehe . Tp biarlah , don't ever judge me . You just don't have the rights to do so . 

And , even though kami ni boleh dikatakan TTM , we've discussed about this and kami memang takmau to have any serious relationship sekarang ni . Well , better lah kan ? Couple-break ni , not my type so better prevent kan ? *OSEH* And dia pun ada cakap yang dia belum ready , haha . Saya pun , so better kami macam ni jak . Kawan . And WE WILL GO ON WITH THE FLOW . Bak kata orang , kalau jodoh tak kemana juga tu (: In sha Allah . Kalau dia lah jodoh saya yang sudah tertulis di LohMahfuz *AMBOIH* then , saya terima dengan hati yang terbuka :) Oyeah ! Hehehe . 

So , jangan lah mau cakap saya ni playgirl . Sebab apa ? Ramai minat orang ? Hahaha , its okay for us to have thousands crush lah ! LOLS . Suka orang tu normal , tambirang lah if kau nampak orang hensem or perempuan cantik kau tidak terdetik SIKIT PUN rasa suka . Kan ? Please , we're humans maa . Saya mengaku , saya memang cepat suka orang . Tp it doesn't mean that I'm a playgirl . Playgirl ni usually yang couple ramai dalam satu masa . Well obviously me ? Hahaha , don't make stupid jokes peeps , I don't even have one . So ? Haha , maybe you can just call me an easy-melt girl . Haha , can't deny . Memang pun . Tapi even I like lots of people tapi before I go to bed , memang there's only one person in mind :) 

So , you should just never questioned about my status . Its my right to keep it up , down or low . LOLS . *MEREPEKS* and and , to those yang fikir saya ni cepat sangat suka orang tu , up to you babes , sukahati lah kau cakap apa pun . Sometimes bila kita talks bout people , it doesn't define them , it defines you :) Hahaha , semua dah ada akal , we're not animals so boleh fikir logic kan ? HAHA , thanks for reading :*

Love . Hugs . Kisses .

Bell :)

Bonjour :)

Assalamualaikum :)

Hello peeps ! Well , lamaaa sudah tidak post kan ? Well , teramat lahh busy mengalahkan Barrack Obama okay . Hehe :3 Lols . Well , finally ! Saya lulus comp test (: Please don't say that I'm stupid , yaa I know comp test tu senang gilaa what-the-hell . HAHA , I know and I admit memang actually senang pun . Tapi well you know me , dah gelabah sangat , so semua jadi tak betul *CEH TAIK* Hahaha . So kesimpulannya Bell , you should study dari awal . Bila my second test tu , baru lah struggle konons nya . LOL . Memang menyesal , like why on earth boleh failed ! HAHA , but luckily by the second test I managed to pass it . Alhamdulillah ;)

And apa lagi mau cakap ah ? Ohyaaa , two days ago Daddy collapsed :( Dia hypo Mummy cakap , which means kurang sugar dalam badan . Okay , kesian kan my Daddy ? But don't worry , my Dad's a strong man . Hehehe :) Well , actually kalau orang yang kandungan gula dia tidak normal dalam badan (which means KURANG than the actual rate) fore example , dia kena makan like every two hours . I mean , bukanlah makanan berat . Sandwiches or maybe an oatmeal would do :) Same case here with my Dad , dia kena makan tpi he refuse to . Lols . HAHA , tapi lepas my Mum cakap and give some advice then I think its gonna be oooo-kay :) Haha , in sha Allah . My Mum pun already twice dia pegy airport tukar flight sebab mau jaga Daddy . And me , which my flight is tomorrow . Maybe I can't go tomorrow . Maybe the next day would do :) In sha Allah . Haha , please pray for my dad :) THANKS !

And about my life , Hahaha . Dying in boredom I guess -.- Sangatlah boring di rumah . But when I try to make myself entertain *LOL , mcm terdesak bunyinya* I can barely enjoy this erghh stay-at-home-doing-nothing thing . Hahaha . I admit , sometimes I do have some fun being here , at my home , my room with my laptops . Haha , and my Hero would be texting me sometimes if he's in the UM's hall and he's kinda sleeping , then , he'll text me just to forbid him from sleeping . Haha .And kadang-kadang pun , my friends ada juga yang call and we talk talk talk like for hours . 

Enough mumbling . And I forgot to share *show off* Hakssshakss . Hehehe , well my DELF A2 , I got 70.9 ! Woooohooooo >< Hahaha , seriously even me , myself , I can't believe that I actually reached that numbers . I mean , I sat for A2 last year because I failed during the previous year lols and and not aiming to get a 70.9 I just aimed to get credits . Seriously no lie ! Haha . But , maybe dah rezeki and I'm on cloud 9 that day when Madam Anis told me about it . Alhamdulillah :) Hehehehe . Ohh kepda yang tak tahu apa tu DELF A2 . Well , kan our school *SM SAINS LABUAN* yg awesome gituw XP Kami ada foreign language . Or should I say , international language . Japan , France and Arabic . Well , France is my choice so kalau dah masuk France punya language , every form 2 kena ambil DELF A1 . Its like a test (?) to get the honourable certificate dari orang kat France sana lah , haha . And it has many benefits time kat U  nanti , In sha Allah :) Hahaha , A1 tu boleh lah senang , perkenalkan diri , jual beli , nombor , mendengar and karangan . Macam tu lah . Bila dah naik A2 , pun sama lah jugaa tapi level diaa up sikit and ada 2 karangan and more strict lah . Haha , tapi level B1 lah yang susah . My batchmates yang lain semua pun ada juga ambil B1 , and time tu , saya baru ambil A2 *tambirang kan ? mengulang bah* Haha . So kami sama-sama lah struggle , time tu lagi exam *padahal time kena bagi masa , tidur* Hahaha . Lols . Biasalah tu budak-budak bhaa . HAHA , apapun . I enjoyed myself learning France :) 

Okay , cukup merepek disitu . Thanks for wasting your time reading this ;D HAHA . Till then , bye !

Love . Hugs . Kisses .

Bell :)

Hey , I miss you :')

Assalamualaikum ,

Hey :) Well actually , saya buat post ni because I miss him ! Badly . 

PASUM tengah exam sekarang . So , I told him yang its better if we tak text dulu for a few moments . Well , kesian bah diaa . Saya ni dahlaa kuat merajuk , kuat merepek , cari pasal lagi . Nanti ganggu mood dia study right XD ? Hahaha . So its better if kami tak text dulu , bukan apaa , saya mau dia betul2 focus , its for his own future kan ? If saya gedik , I would like to say OUR FUTURE ! huahuahua XD

Well , tengok lah ni . Tapi udahh ditapiss yeee :P 

AA : Oh serious tak text ? Two weeks ?

Bell : Ya laa , its for your own good .

30 minutes later 

Bell : Are you serious 2 weeks ? No way !

AA : Tp Bell , you yang nak tadi kan ? 

Bell : ..............

AA : Okay fine , 3 days only . Boleh ? 

Hahaha , begitu lah kisahnyaaa . Haish , tu lah mulut saya ni . Tp its okayy , ada himah disebalik apa yang berlaku right ? Every cloud has its silver lining :D Ceh XP Then bermulaa lah saya lonely . Tak text satu hari . Haish , mcam satu tahun okay . Tapi malam semalam he did text me , dia cakap good night XD Hahahaha . Okay , see saya dah start merepeks already :/

To AA : I know you takkan baca my blog ni . Haha , sebab saya rasa you dont even know I have one :P Hehehe . Apa pun , good luck okay ? Do your best ! And pass your exam with flying colours ! Huahua , I'll be here aiting and praying for your success :)

Love . Hug . Kisses .

Bell :)

Ya Allah , panjangkan jodoh mereka :)

Assalamualaikum :)

Well today , someone taught me something . Who ? He's a new friend of mine . We just knew each other this morning . Sounds cool right ? Well , nampak sangat keikhlasan dia dalam berkawan :) I like it liddat ! Well , what I'm about to tell you is , he told me something that no ones ever tell me . Well actually , its something that I barely heard from any person that is on the same age with me . I mean , serioussss , jarang sangat . And maybe ta pernah kot :) And yeay ! He's the first . Okay , what I'm talking about is :

He's engaged !

OMG ! It is so sweet :) I mean , when I asked him , why did he engaged so early and then he said that he wants to take good care of her . Isn't that sweet ? I mean , how many boys like this nowadays ? Its hardly found kan ? And and , it took him months to win this lovely girl's heart . And the girl is also a good-girl-type . Yes , I'm pretty sure :) Well , because she too never fall in love with any person . Maybe even if she does , she didn't express her feeling to the guy :) Ohh so sweet of them ! And , after our SPM examination ended . The girl then confess to him that she also shares the same feeling as he do and the most remarkable part is , she told her parents about it and and and , yeah they got engage :)

Well , it makes me feel like I want to get engage too . HAHAH ! Okay , joking . Its imposibble . For me , because of my family and my parents . Life's complicated right ? Well except for them :) And that guy , really do love her . I can sense it *ceh* Hahahahaha . 

Ya Allah , you've sent me this person to tell me about thigs that I've been dying to know for ages ! And I dont have to google it because he had told me almost everything ! And and , he makes me realized and I'm getting pretty sure that there is no wrong to get engage in a early age :) Really , what's important is , trust between the couples and relationship to our mighty Allah , then , we'll never astray . In sha Allah . Even they say that they'll be too many obstacles ahead but I'm sure they're good enough to overcome everything ! And no worries my friend , my prayers will always be with youu :) May you and her together till jannah :) and so do our friendship . Amin .

P/s : And please make sure that you'll invite me to your wedding XD Haha 

Love . Hugs . Kisses . 

Bell :)

In Sha Allah :)

Assalamualaikummm :)

Salam all :) First of all , sayaa nangis tonight ! Hahahahaa :') Tp I just dont like to annoy others with my problem . So let sayy saya meluah dekat sini jaak :) Almaklumah , blog saya tidak famous so saya rasa tak ramai pun orang akan baca post ni :) Emm , to be honest , today has been an awkward day for me . Especially time malam ni :') Saya sedih , yet I know it the best way . So saya dapat terima dengan hati yang terbukaa . Maybe its too public for me to share it here , saya lebih selesa simpan dlm hati :) Hehehehe . Even tak banyak pun yang mau baca :( Wuwuwuwu sobs . 

Maybe , betul cakap diaa . Kita perlu mulakan hidup baru :) Semua perlu berubah sekarang , to be the better us :) Kan ? Tak salah berubah ke arah kebaikan . Bukan mau berubah kerana orang , tapi untuk kebaikan kita sendiri juga kan ? Saya sokong tindakan seorang kawan saya tu :) Even saya sedih sebab buat masa ni maybe kami tidak akan contact , tp saya percaya diaa buat yang terbaik :) In sha Allah . 

Saya bukan lah orang yang baik , serious . I've made like , tonnes of mistakes . And to all my lovelies , thanks for always be there for me , with me and just me :) Hehe , every time every seconds and every moments I'm with you guys , i'm just being my super self and that is what friends are for :) The world should be jealous for me having an awesome girlfriends like all of you . Sorry for any of my narcastic actions or any involuntary actions and behaviors that is unnecessary and not good . Its just me and I'm learning . And from this one girlfriend of mine , she taught me a lot , even just in one day :) Thanks babe .

What past is past . Yeah , I agree with her . No one starts their life as a perfect person . No one . So biasa laah kita semua mula dari bawah dan kita akan pelan-pelan reach the top right ;) So saya pun mauu ambil kesempatan ni untuk berubah to be a better me . In sha Allah , saya janji saya akan cuba yang terbaik . Amin :) For the people who always supports me through my ups and downs , thanks and may Allah bless uols . Furthermore , saya takut apa akan jadi one day . I'm afraid of losing . Seriously , ya Allah . Janganlah ruin this faithful friendship of ours . I sincerely love this friendship and it is meant for jannah :')

Maybe I should enough mumbling for today . As tomorrow I got lots of errands to do -.- Good night to all . Have a sweet dreams :)

To my dear friend : Dear you , wherever you go or do . I know you're doing it right :) Whatever you do , do it with all your hearts okay ? :) I'll be here waiting and praying the best for you , for me , for all of us . Because this friendship is just so remarkable and amazing :) I know you're doing the right thing . Please take care :)

Love . Hugs . Kisses 

Bell :)